Mindful Parenting Tips: HOW TO GET YOUR TODDLER TO OBEY? [video]


I dare you not to say NO once this week!


I was looking at some photos of Bibi’s first days in nursery the other day, and it reminded me of how easy it can be to make our lives more difficult, if you follow.

Back when Bibi started nursery, I was determined to be the best possible mum. My husband is a teacher and has done a tremendous amount of research and study on growth mindset and encouraging children to succeed. I decided to read everything I could find on child development.

This plan worked really well for about a week. I was fascinated by everything I was reading, but I was also confused. As it turns out, there are a lot of different child rearing philosophies out there, and I was trying to find the absolute best one for my daughter.  

Apparently, there is no one best way to bring up a child. Even better: what you do with one child may not work with the next. It’s like the whole thing is designed to make you doubt yourself and your abilities.

Which is why I want to give you the advice I wish I’d had a few years ago:

Let your nursery do the heavy lifting!

You’ve enrolled your child in nursery. You probably visited one or two places before you made a decision, and you liked what you saw.

The nursery staff has established rules for behaviour and has created strategies to enforce those rules.

So, for example, a child who is fighting over toys may be gently redirected to a new activity. A child who won’t put on a jacket may not be allowed out to the yard until he complies.

You’ll likely notice that nursery staff doesn’t use the word “No,” a lot, and instead frames requests by focusing on what the child should do.

For example, instead of “No hitting,” you’ll probably hear something like “Kind hands.”

Think about it: if I tell you, “No thinking about elephants,” guess what you’re doing now? If, on the other hand, I say, “Think about rabbits,” I’ve given you something you can focus on.


Talk to the nursery director and find out exactly what the staff says to the children when it’s time to clean up toys, and how they ensure that all the children participate. Let them teach you what to do at home.

When you do this, you create an orderly world for your child. The rules are always the same. The systems and routines are in place at home and in nursery, and there’s no confusion.

And this system continues to work wonders as your child progresses through the years. I walked Bibi to school the other week, and a quick coffee with a few mums suddenly turned into me joining the PFA — not something I had planned on!

But I quickly realised that by being involved with the school, I’d have clearer insight into the messaging used, so that I can continue to mirror it at home. I have a front-row seat to how classes are run and how teachers and students interact.

You’ve put an amazing team into place, {{ subscriber.first_name }}, so use them to help craft an incredible educational experience for your child.

Yes, give this parenting hack a good go because in my experience, it continues to work wonders as your child progresses through the years.


The hardest part about most parenting hacks is being consistent but what helps with that is having a tribe of mindful mamas who cheer you on through this change.

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