The BEST Conscious Parenting Bedtime Routine I learned from Netflix...
Learn this easy & effective parenting tip for mindfulness. Learn how to teach EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE for children with the High-Low Routine to instantly up your conscious parenting skills!
Short on time? Watch the video instead:
One of the greatest things about Netflix is that it gives us a chance to watch terrible television shows that were cancelled after a single season for a very good reason
Recently, I found myself watching one such show, The Crossing (Don’t. Really. Just don’t.). I’m not really sure what compelled me to stick with it — I’m thinking that the remote control was just a little too far away for me to reach — but the show redeemed itself with a tiny, throwaway scene where a father put his son to bed...
“What was your high today?” the father asked his son, and the two of them talked about their highs from the day.
“What was your low?” the father asked after that, and again, the two of them talked through those moments.
I must have been on my period or something but I this scene totally choked me up! I implemented this in Bibi’s routine the very next night, and it has been nothing short of amazing.
Every evening now, we do our “High-Low” routine. I hear things from her that I never would have known. For example, the other night, Bibi told me that her low was when I made a casual comment that hurt her feelings.
When it had happened, Bibi hadn’t responded. Truthfully, I didn’t even remember the comment at first and had to think about it. But here it was, laid out for me at bedtime, and we were able to talk through how Bibi felt: WHY she was hurt, WHAT she wished had been different. I had a chance to tell my beautiful girl that I was sorry for hurting her, and to ask her to forgive me.
It was my own personal high-low: I hurt my daughter’s feelings — but I got a chance to fix it! Yay?
And it is a yay.
Because we’ve created a routine that gives Bibi a chance to process things. Sometimes her low is something from school that she didn’t know how to handle. So we talk through it, rewrite the script, give her a solution.
This simple routine helped me realise that her confidence had taken a nosedive because Emma (not her real name), a girl at nursery, was mocking the way she drew butterflies (which was her favourite thing to draw at that time). I gave her the “Well, that’s your opinion” script and we role played it till she was confident that:
a/ Emma is entitled to her opinion but
b/ Emma’s opinion is not something that Bibi or mummy value highly at all
c/ Mummy’s opinion is that Bibi’s butterflies are beautiful
d/ Bibi’s own opinion is all that matters when it comes to her own art
If Bibi finds herself in a similar situation in the future, she’ll have the tools to handle it, thanks to the high-low routine.
Getting closure on the day’s crazy events isn’t a skill we’re born with. You, my lovely mindful mama, are the one who can give her CLOSURE so she can get the restful nightmare-free sleep she needs.
When she wakes in the morning, she has a clean slate. The hurts from the day before are wiped away, and she’s ready to face a new day.
And hearing about the highs? It’s amazing to hear about the best moments in your child’s day. Sometimes they’re astoundingly complex and provide amazing insight into her world: when someone invited her to play, when a teacher complimented her work, when she saw a real caterpillar “just like in my book!”.
Sometimes, her high is that I let her have extra sweets after tea. She is four years old, after all.
Bibi needs this routine — if I ever forget, she reminds me even if I’ve already switched off the lights, “Mama! What about our High-Low!?”. It takes just a few moments, but it’s a wonderful way to really connect with your child on a daily basis.
If you try the high-low routine, I’d love to hear about your experience. Comment below and tell me how it goes for you or better still share your results in the Mindful Mamas Raising Tigers group here!
You've got to try this out! It's so good I've added it to my Top Tactics Checklist Workbook PDF collectables. Get your free copy here: